I am here at the World Beach Volleyball Tour following tournaments from Austria to Poland to Norway. For those of you not in the know, this is a 2 person game and epitomizes relating-ship. I began thinking about this word RELATIONSHIP that we throw out lazily and it was not matching the active and precise relating that was going on here with these pro athletes! Here on the world circuit, relationship is a tangible active process. It requires consistent and deliberate attention and is constantly being tweaked and improved for ultimate results. Each and every two-person-team has up to three coaches overseeing the technical side of things as well as the mental/emotional elements. “What did you get from today’s practice? How are you interrelating with your partner? What would you do to improve next time?” are common post practice questions. Coaches are encouraging the athletes to “get it out now” and really test the boundaries of the relationship so that when its time to compete, they are robust and able to handle a variety of situations.
Imagine if a soon-to-be-married couple had a rigorous training ground like this: practice sessions and the environment to test the boundaries so that the relationship could withstand high amounts of stress and pressure!! Couples often get married and then have kids yet rarely train themselves to cope with this high demand and so are not ready for the BIG GAME!
What can we learn from the high level athletes preparing for competition and the Olympic Games? Two people come together for a common purpose/goal and set forth on a journey to get there. They have clear time frames and concise visions for their team (their union). Virtually every single team employs a coach (they would be considered crazy to not have someone helping them to grow their game) who facilitates them practicing their skills and then upping the mark by training them in higher pressure “situational environments”.
They are constantly looking at how they can grow their game and be their best in order to achieve major goals and dreams.
I want to paint a picture for every couple out there: you too can set yourself up for relating-ship excellence by training as a team. Seek out a coach who is an objective observer and a facilitator for your success. Practice game-like situations that allow you to see the relationship (in all its array of colors) and then employ specific strategies needed to ferry you down the canals of forever. It can be as simple as putting together IKEA furniture successfully…how does this mirror your everyday lives? Did one person take over while the other person watched? Did one of you nag the other while they “made mistakes” or didn’t set it up like you told them to? It has been said that “As you play, you are” so I encourage you to PLAY and use that as practice ground for the big moments where being fully prepared might mean everything.
You can also plug yourself in daily to relating to your partner by reading BLOGS such as “Relationship Tune Up” (www.relationshiptuneup.wordpress.com), and attend seminars that empower and shift things in line with what you are wanting. It basically comes down to: are you evolving as a union or dissolving. The choice is yours within each and every moment! Just like these pros teams, its a choice to take it on and perform optimally!
I promote marriage counseling and coaching for EVERY couple! Have you ever noticed that the people who tend to get help are often the ones doing really great. The stigma attached to counseling and psychology is often unfounded as those getting some kind of help are often doing better than those who think they don’t need it!
I have created COUPLES COACHING and MARRIAGE COACHING for all those Super Couples who recognize that to be excellent, you have to put in the work! In our day and age, when do you get the opportunity to play with your mate? I mean, build leggo and construct play-doh in a careful crafted environment that promotes learning and growth, laughter and fun? Imagine bringing out that childlike spirit and then grouping it with the one you love…can you say unstoppable??? This is the training ground of the 21st century couple and I encourage you all to begin stepping up to what’s possible for you and your mate. Find someone who can facilitate this training environment or I can set you up with something that has you creating into your future.
I am of the mindset that if you water a garden consistently with intention and playfulness, the harvest will be so abundant that LOVE is nurtured to grow even in the most unlikely of places.
Whether you’re a pro athlete or want to have your couple perform like one, model those who are exemplifying empowering relating-ships! You can contact me through my website (www.coachsmax.com) my BLOG space with co-creator Kahlia Ericson (www.relationshiptuneup.wordpress.com), our Facebook page (“relationship tune up”) or email me at Sarah@CoachSMax.com if you’re ready to play like a Champion and have your relationships performing optimally! You don’t have to settle for status quo, you can be a star and have the relationship you always dreamed of. Step up in your life and make it possible for you!